Sunday, April 17, 2011

Back to school

Well, sort of. I'm chaperoning a big old band trip for #1 daughter for the next 3 days. In store for me over the next 72 hours? A lengthy bus ride and a gruelling schedule with 120 teenagers. I'll let you know how it turns out...pray for me. (Kidding. Sort of.)


Monday, April 11, 2011

Sanity for sale (also, may I have some cheese with my whine?)

I had forgotten just how much I hate trying to sell a house. I don't hate a lot of things in this world (after all, hate is one of those bad, forbidden words in our house), but this definitely ranks right up there with...well, I can't think of anything else I dislike quite as much (other than our lame school division, but I've whined enough about that in the past. So much so that I'm not going to link to any of those posts.)

And so, here I sit, unable to control many of the elements that might lead to the sale of our home. Sure, it's only been a week, but our last house sold in ONE DAY. Which is totally unreal, yet it happened anyway. Is it too much to expect that to happen again? Apparently. The trouble is, that has spoiled me for future house selling for the rest of my life! I am stuck with unrealistic expectations, and anything less than that one day sale will feel like FOR.EV.ER.

Which is where I'm at right now. And, if I'm going to be honest, I'm a little crabby about it. Which is goes against everything I stand for - I know, right? I'm such the hypocrite! You'd think that I'd be used to the waiting, what with the querying process and everything. But, alas, I am as impatient as ever, and for some odd reason, I take people's rejection of my house much more seriously than a rejection of my manuscript. Which I shouldn't, because it really is just a matter of personal taste in both departments.

Le Sigh. It's hard to be patient sometimes, isn't it?

What's got you waiting these days? (Please let me not be the only one waiting on something...)  And how are you coping? I could use some tips right about now!


Monday, April 4, 2011

A TV show worth watching

Maybe you've seen this already, but I read this on someone's blog a while ago and had a good laugh. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES: 6 married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 2 kids each for 6 weeks. Each kid will play 2 sports and take either music or dance classes. There is no fast food. Each man must take care of his 2 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete school projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills. In addition, each man will have to budget enough groceries for each week and purchase said groceries - looking for deals, sales, and coupons in an effort to be as thrifty as possible. Each man must remember the birthdays of all friends and relatives and send cards out or make a phone call on time - no emailing! Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a hair cut appointment. He must make 1 unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the emergency room. He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a school function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside, and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all the chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed during 1 of the 6 weeks.

The men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches, have extreme, unexplained mood swings, but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 8:30.

A test will be given at the end of the 6 weeks where each father will be required to know each child's:

height and weight,
shoe size and clothing size,
doctor's name,
child's weight and length at birth,
time of birth and length of labor,
favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote the men off the island based on performance.

The last man wins ONLY IF....

he still has enough energy to be intimate with his wife at a moment's notice.

If the man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18 to 25 years, eventually earning the right to be called "mom."