Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Whew, look at the time!

My goodness, where has the last month gone?? I've been hard at work on my MS, and I have to say that I am very happy with it. Still trying to get through a couple of rough patches, but it's very close to where I want it to be. I also enlisted the help of a very good friend to critique it, which I think is pretty important before I go submitting to agents. I have to admit that I may have experienced a mild panic attack when I emailed those first few chapters, but I know I am in good hands. I guess my biggest fear is that she'll think the story is completely lame and/or cheesy, but just dealing with those feelings has been a good reminder that this book isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea, but I shouldn't let it stop me from getting it out there.

This whole thing is such an interesting psychological process, and the emotions I've experienced have really run the gamut. It's odd to be thrilled one minute, and completely discouraged the next. I guess that I can only hope that somebody sees potential in my writing. I imagine I will feel better once I obtain an agent. Then I'll have someone on a professional level who believes in me as well. I mean, it's good to have self-confidence, and I definitely wouldn't be taking this on if I didn't think I was decent at it, but I'm not exactly the most impartial judge of my work, now, am I? I look forward to having my own feelings of adequacy validated by representation, and even more so upon publication (whether with this manuscript -hopefully- or, with the next).

That being said, I find it impossible to be anything less than optimistic about this whole thing. Perhaps that is because I love the life that I have, and professional success (though desired) isn't going to make or break me. This is something that I plan on pursuing for the long term, and I truly believe that persistence will pay off. I can't afford to let myself wallow when I'm having a rough go of it, and at the end of the day, I am enjoying the challenge enough to do this regardless of the outcome. That is enough for me - at least for now.

Besos...