Saturday, June 20, 2009

You tell me...

I sort of think the manuscript I've been submitting could use a little something. I've got this preface that's been brewing, but I want to know if it's enough to pique interest, or if I should just forget it because I'm getting requests without it. My husband said it wouldn't make him read further (insert eye roll here), but he's not a big reader, and since this novel doesn't have any boy wizards I didn't really expect him to like it*.

Maybe some more discerning YA readers out there could let me know what they think? I don't need a critique, as I know it's not perfect**, but I'm just looking for a general yay or nay.



Preface

Sure, it might be a brave thing to give up on something that would make me blissfully happy – that had already brought me so much light in the darkness - but could it be considered heroic if I wasn’t going to remember what I’d lost? Judging by the dizzying nausea that blurred my vision, I don’t think I’d be as inclined to make the same decision knowing I’d experience a prolonged, rip-out-your-gut aftermath.

My mind reeled, still playing through a dozen scenarios as it tried to preserve the future it had already grown so accustomed to. I’d already made up my mind, but that didn’t seem to make the actual deed any simpler. It’s not every day you say goodbye to the only thing you ever hoped beyond hope was possible.

I opened my mouth to speak the words that I knew would cut deeper than the sharpest surgical steel blade.

Let me know what you think. Tell me the truth (uh, kindly). I can take it.

Besos!

*This is exactly why I'm not letting him near the book until I've got an agent...
**But hey, if you think it's perfect, feel free to say so ;)

5 comments:

Morgan Xavier said...

Ok, it definitely piqued my interest....so I guess that's a yay! I think I'm curious because I really don't know what is going on, and I want to find out, so I would read further. Hope that helps :)

MeganRebekah said...

It's an intriguing opening... as long as it transitions good with the book I say go for it!

Fiauna said...

Yep, now I want to know more. My interest is definitely piqued.

Terresa said...

I want to know more but I also like to have someone hold my hand a bit more. Maybe a little bit more info/details of what's going on (teensy bit more?)...
Love your sentence about the "surgical steel blade" is great!

Tracy said...

Well, I can't really give any more away, since this is the MC's thoughts during a big reveal, so I'll have to think about that.

It's kind of an unfair teaser without having the benefit of being able to read on, but I guess that's kind of what I was going for. You'd understand once you read a few chapters, but I'm hoping it will compel the reader to find out exactly where it comes in, and why it's happening. Does it make more sense for you to know that?

Thanks for the feedback everyone. It's much appreciated.