Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Fickle

Does anyone else fall in and out of love with what they're working on? On a regular basis? You would think that I'd enjoy it more, since it all comes out of my brain.

I mean, I can change the situation, I can change the dialogue, add or take away characters; you name it, I can do it. After all, I'm in control and running this show.

Or am I?

These ideas generate from someplace unseen, and they manage to sneak out in a relatively coherent manner (mostly, haha). When I write, I am often surprised at things the characters do and say. Sometimes I don't like it, or I'm puzzled by the turn of events, but it always seems to lead to an outcome that is greater than I could have planned out.

I'm very much a pantser when it comes to writing. I always start out with a main story in mind, and several characters, but after that, it's out of my hands. Sometimes I'll have a few plot points that I know I need to hit. If you hear me talking about outlining, that's what I mean - you'll never find me writing anything extensive in that department. I like to think of myself as a writing conservationist. I tend to wrestle things out in my mind before expending the energy in typing (or writing) it out. This can prove to be very difficult when the things that come to mind don't make perfect sense. I'm learning to let go (sort of), and trusting that the story will play out in a good way.

Did any of that even make sense? I've probably contradicted myself in there somewhere...just go with it :) Anyhoo, it's important to just roll with it, right? I mean, just because this process works for me now doesn't mean it won't change in the future.

That said, my current WIP is KICKING MY BEHIND! Seriously. It's been so hard to get those words down. Don't get me wrong, I think what I've got is good (as far as a first draft goes), but some of what I've written...bugs me. It's a little more intense than I anticipated, and some of the characters I, uh, don't like*. But I know that all the annoying stuff is for the greater good of the story.

Er, hopefully.

The truth of the matter is, I'm too stubborn to give up. So even if I fall in and out of love a zillion times, I'm going to finish this darned thing. And really, when I think about it, I went through this exact same thing with the last novel. I'm thinking this is just part of my own writing process, so perhaps I ought to embrace the hate.

Hmm, I must say that I never thought I'd see the day when I would try to talk myself into loving the hating.

It's fun though**. Mostly.

Besos!

*Yes, I'm aware that they're not real people and all that. I'm not completely off my rocker. It's not like I hear voices or anything like some of those other writers***

**So long as that doesn't spill over into other aspects of my life, I figure I should be safe.

***Just teasing. I know there are lots of perfectly sane people who hear voices. (Okay, that sounds way worse than it actually is. Forget I said anything.)

5 comments:

Morgan Xavier said...

I totally agree!!! With everything you just wrote! I feel like a manic-depressive writer: one day I absolutely LOVE what I've written, the next day I find it to be merely OK, nothing special, certainly nothing that will catch an agent's attention. Sigh. Today I feel the latter. I guess that's why we just have to keep on writing, no matter how we feel.

As for watching my story develop, I've spent three years coming up with the story and characters, but ultimately, I've discovered I don't really know what will happen until I sit down and write it. And my characters have become so...REAL...it's almost scary. One of my MC's is going to do something at the end of my book that is truly horrible, and I'm dreading writing that part. It's crazy how connected we become with our stories.

Well, I wish you all the best as you continue to send queries! And keep up the good work with your new project :)

MeganRebekah said...

I agree with Morgan - it's like being bipolar with the ups and downs. Most days I like and enjoy the book and the writing process. On lucky days I fall in love with it all over again. On the bad days I contemplate hitting delete and pretending I never tried to write the book.

Fiauna said...

I'm right there with ya! For me, my characters are real. I've even been in situations where I've wondered what a certain character would do or think, like the character was a real person.

I've fallen into and out of love with everything I've written--even a simple blog post isn't immune to my fickle mind.

Terresa said...

Great thoughts. I have the love-hate thing going on with some of my WIP book characters, too.

Today, a thought crossed my mind that would change my plot considerably regarding one character...it was like a splash of cold water on my face. Still not sure if I'm going to run with that idea, but I'm mulling it over now...

Tara Maya said...

Add me to the the list of love-hate messed up authors. Somedays bliss, others torture.